A View From the Top: Learning To See From A Different Perspective
What if the pain that shaped your outlook doesn’t get the final word?
“Sometimes healing doesn’t come from changing the past—but from changing how we see it.”
In A View From the Top, Diana opens up about family wounds, misunderstood intentions, and the hidden damage of resentment and unforgiveness. Drawing from Scripture and real-life experience, this episode explores how God’s perspective brings healing where bitterness once lived.
If you’re ready to let go of old judgments, trust God with your heart, and step into freedom through selfless humility, this episode is for you.
God sees the heart—and He’s not finished with you yet.
Diana’s Notes
A View From the Top
Hello everybody!!! And welcome to today’s episode, A view from the top: Learning to see from a different perspective - here on Heartfelt Conversations with Diana!
Our last conversation together, From Waiting to Winning- we talked about how we need to learn to be content WHILE we are waiting for God to work and do His thing!
When you learn to wait well, you live well.
That’s not always easy, but it is in that attitude where we find peace in the pause and joy in the journey.
I shared that one thing I am still learning is that my attitude determines a lot of what my day turns into. Be it good or bad. Good attitude = good day ( no matter what seems to be going on), but the same is true as well - Bad attitude = bad day - (No matter how well the day really might be going)
We spoke on learning from the Apostle Paul on the subject of attitude, listen to what he says in Phillipians -
Philippians 4:11 - 13 (NLT) Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living - in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little…
I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.
What we need to learn, and it is a learned behavior, is what Paul learned- To be content no matter our circumstances.
Part of learning to be content is with our finances, learning to live within our means. But our relationships with others are another area that might require a little shift in our attitude.
To be rich in God’s grace towards others can bring a different kind of prosperity into our lives. Richer Relationships!
Our relationship with others can be funny - strange, maybe difficult to explain or even understand . The way we see people and the way they see us. It’s almost comical if we can take a step back from our emotions that can rise up when that certain person steps into our view. Have you ever heard the expression that we live life forward and understand it backwards?
When it comes to people, I think this phrase reveals itself as time passes by. The way you see your parents, or children, or spouse, or friends may be from one viewpoint at a young age, and have a completely different view of them 10-20-30 years later. Am I the only one who notices that, or have you experienced the same thing??
It’s funny isn’t it?
There doesn’t seem to be a one size fits all - cookie cutter pattern when it comes to human relationships. They're up, they're down, like spaghetti noodles on a plate; they seem to be all over the place. And if we go by our emotions, which tend to be all over the place as well, dealing with people can be messy, sloppy, and downright unmanageable.
I found it interesting that I was having a conversation with one of my sisters that even though we had the same parents and did have some similar experiences, we also had very different experiences. Different views of our parents.
For example, the way that I saw my dad and my relationship with him was so different then what my older brothers and sisters had.
There were several years between me and my siblings and they witnessed the struggles of a young father trying to wrestle through the trauma of living through the battle scars of war.
As a young teenager from West Virginia, my dad - a minor - 14/15 years old stole his older brother's ID and enlisted in the Navy and off he went into the horrors of World War II. He saw the slaughter of neighbors, friends, and even strangers he served with. He was a teenager witnessing the terrors of war and near starvation that many of us can not even begin to imagine. He survived the war but was left with life-battling wounds unseen by the natural eye. For years, decades after World War II ended, my dad struggled with deep depression, PTSD, and alcoholism. He suffered from nightmares he couldn’t erase.
My brothers and sisters and my mom saw and lived through the dark days of my dads struggles that I did not see. My view of him was far different than theirs.
By the time we moved from the big city to a farm outside a tiny little town, my dad was a little older and probably hid the demons he wrestled with a little better.
We do that, don't we? We convince ourselves that we handle things better as we get older than when we were a younger version of ourselves. And, with intentionality, we can. We can overcome the hurts and hurdles that once kept us in bondage. But if we aren’t careful, we can put a bandaid on to cover up the wound, rather than applying the medication we need to actually heal it. I did that, and looking back I am pretty sure both my mom and my dad did that as well.
I saw my dad as kind and gentle. He was stoic, quiet, and a little mysterious to me. He was able to hide some of the things he wrestled with because he was away from home a lot due to his work. I saw my dad 2, maybe 3 days a week at best. And when he was home, he slept. A lot! But he made time to play with me, tease me. I was head over heels in love with my daddy as a little girl. He was like a Hollywood movie star to me. But I hear the stories of my siblings and their relationship with our dad, and it is just so unfamiliar to me what they observed and what I did.
Same dad. But very different relationships. And, if you were to break it down per kid, each one of us had a different connection with our mom and our dad.
I have talked about how I felt very unwanted by my mom, and as a child, that was true. I did feel that way. I believed it to my core. But as I grew older, had my own children and experienced difficulties in various relationships, my own struggles, failures, hardships and heartbreaks have left me to understand that I never looked at my mom as a woman who endured so much. Maybe the hardships of life shaped some of the sharp edges that I felt so personally.
I never took into account the strong woman my mom must have had to become in order to hold her family together in such adverse conditions.
As a young child I didn’t understand the complexities of relationships, as a teenager I became rebellious, born out of the aggravation within my heart of feeling overlooked, unwanted, abandoned and rejected. I judged my mom as just hard and harsh, not strong or courageous.
It’s easy to judge others and sometimes we don’t realize we are judging them, we feel like we are protecting ourselves. Justifying our attitude with the sword of our pain.
I know in previous episodes we have talked about the scripture in Samuel where God speaks of looking at the heart and not the outward appearance.
Our view of another person based upon our own perspective which has been shaped and probably a little warped from life’s circumstances. But we see in scripture that God’s viewpoint is an advantage we don’t have, unless of course we learn to adapt our view to His view - from heaven’s view
1 Samuel 16:7 (NIV) But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
Hebrews 4:12 (BSB ) tells us: For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it pierces even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow. It judges the thoughts and intentions of the heart.
God sees the thoughts and the intentions of our hearts. Our intentions mean a lot to God. People can misjudge our intentions, and our human nature can lead us to some bad decisions - we are human, let’s be honest, we do make bad decisions sometimes, but that does not stop God from loving us because we mess up. But it does matter why we do the things we do. The motive of our heart is a big deal to God, and it should be to us as well.
Are we self-seeking and selfish and put what we want above others, or sometimes do we make mistakes, misbelieving that we are protecting ourselves, or that we hide inwardly and deceive ourselves because we are convinced that no one will understand? They may still be wrong actions, decisions, unwise choices - but most of us are more likely to relate to or understand protecting our own hearts or harm from someone else, even if we went about it the wrong way, than intentionally hurting someone out of jealousy or resentment. Intentionally hurting someone reveals deeper issues that can only be healed when we stop hiding them from ourselves and from God.
It's when we let Him in, that true healing begins.
It took me a long time to stop holding resentment against my mom. Between feeling that she did not like me or want me, and the things she told me about my dad when I was a young teen, completely destroyed my view of him, and only deepened my resentment of her. I thought she did it just to be mean, but I think she was hurt because I liked being around my dad more than her. She lashed out in pain, which was wrong. But now I understand she was just hurting and didn’t know how to be vulnerable, real, open. I don’t think her motive was to hurt me, but rather out of the hurt and rejection she felt within herself. Now that, I can relate to. Been there- done that.
Let me ask an honest question. Does it ever help? When we are rude to someone because they were first rude to us. When we cut someone off because they are driving like an idiot. How about when we push someone out of our life because we are convinced they don’t care about us? Does any of it help?
Really?
I think the reality is most likely we become more agitated, more angry, more rude, which makes us more likely to harbor resentment and bitterness. The bible calls these two trouble-makers “poisonous roots that corrupt and hinder.”
Listen to the warning in Hebrews 12:15 (NLT): Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.
Bitterness corrupted me and my life.
Job tells of the destructive nature that resentment brings into our lives
Job 5:2 (GNT) To worry yourself to death with resentment would be a foolish, senseless thing to do.
And whether we like it or not, whether we think it is fair or not, does not change the fact that when we refuse to forgive others, we hinder God from forgiving us. Jesus Himself tells us this in Matthew 6
Matthew 6:14-15 (NLT) “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Philippians tells us that when we lean on God, when we trust Him to lead us and guide us through the most adverse situations, we will be able to accomplish all things through Him. Not ourselves.
We learn to hold on to Paul’s verse.
Philippians 4:13: (NIV )” I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”
That means we look to His word that exposes the darkness and reveals what our steps should be.
Psalms 37:23: (BSB) The steps of a man are ordered by the LORD who takes delight in his journey.
I got so lost on my journey of life because I didn’t let God guide my steps. I stepped out on my own. I did things my way, according to the justice I felt was fair. I tried to vindicate myself, and self- vindication can turn into a venomous poison - Poison that resentment, anger, bitterness, and unforgiveness bring. A strong root that strangles life right out of you. God was not ordering my steps; I was. And it left me on a 40-year journey of frustration, unhappiness, and utter misery.
Proverbs tells us that when we learn to trust God by including Him in all our plans and thoughts, not just in our normal day-to-day lives, God will divinely guide us.
Proverbs 16:9 (AMP) A man’s mind plans his way [as he journeys through life], but the LORD directs his steps and establishes them.
Are you ready for a strong, well-established life that God has handcrafted just for you?
I believe we all need a fresh start. A new perspective from the view we have become used to. What if we could develop a habit of looking beyond appearances? What do we think we see about another person, and begin to seek out what God sees in that person?
As believers, Jesus teaches us to seek the good, and it can be hard, difficult, daunting even. I know for myself, I have been asking God to help me reshape and mold my attitude into His likeness. My attitude impacts the altitude at which I rise or fall. How about you?
If resentment and bitterness and unforgiveness are poisonous roots, then what can the antidote or the medicine to this poison be?
Well, for starters, how about Selfless Humility? Ouch!!! That hurts! Lol
Selfless Humility strengthens our “contentment” muscles!
Yes, it does hurt our flesh. Our earthly human nature does not like it at all. As kids, we are usually thoughtful, caring, and sharing, but as life’s circumstances leave all of its crud on us, we need to exfoliate a little and get those dead cells off of us, and the exfoliator is humility.
How humble do you think the King of kings and the Lord of lords had to have been in order to bring Himself here, surrendering all of His majestic power to lower Himself into our likeness so that He could also raise us up into His likeness?
God left heaven and came in human flesh as Jesus to show us just how much He loves us. That is a high bar. Too high a bar for us, but thank You Jesus, He did, so we could live eternally with Him without the fear of rejection from the Father. The blood of Jesus purifies us, and that is what gives us right standing with God. His blood, not ours. So don’t think you have to cut and bleed to make God happy.
Let us allow Him to teach us how to live a little more humbly and give people a break. A little slack. After all, haven’t we all messed up somewhere along the way?
I know our flesh will fight us and hate being a humble person. But just you watch and see - as we become less selfish, a little less prideful and a little more humble our spirits and our hearts will begin to heal and be rejuvenated just like our skin is with a little soft exfoliation.
So, for a softer side and a little glow to our inner selves, let's begin with this new attitude of selfless humility.
Let’s make a mindshift to decrease our thoughts on ourselves.
We do this by doing what Jesus did. Jesus trusted Himself and everything to God, His righteous Judge. Have confidence in God, not people, that He will make all things right. He has your back. Trust Him with that.
If you need a hug, pray and ask God to send you a hug, and don’t be surprised if He sends someone your way that rubs you the wrong way a little. HAHAHA - God has a quirky sense of humor. He knows you are trying to learn to think of others, to be a little more humble, and He also knows you desire a hug, so He may help you out with both of your quests.
At first, this used to annoy me like it was some sick punishment. But then I learned to laugh at myself and with God because however uncomfortable His bedside technique may be, it was exactly what I needed for the ailment I had. 1 Peter tells us how Jesus was able to hold onto Self-less humility:
1 Peter 2:23 (NIV) When they hurled their insults at him, (Jesus) he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.
Let’s all hold onto that scripture and meditate on it as we learn to walk in selfless humility, trusting that God, who judges justly, will not fail us as we continue to trust Him with our whole heart on this journey of life.
God loves you! He isn’t mad, angry, disappointed or through with you. He wants you to know that your BEST DAYS ARE YET TO COME!!!!
This is the day the LORD has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it! Psalms 118:24:(NLT)
AND! I have posted Pastor Eric’s message: Hall of Faith: The Faith of Abraham. I would encourage you to go to the notes for today’s conversation on our website:
At the end of the notes, you will find a YouTube link to his message. I believe it will help set you up for the greatest adventure of your life, as you fully lean on believing and trusting that God has your best in mind and that your best days are waiting ahead.
If you don’t have a local church you call home, I invite you to our online services, and that link is also posted on today’s notes: https://www.valleyfamilychurch.org/online
Tell them, Diana invited you!!! 🙂
I love ya! God knows you AND loves you! His love is all you need!
Have a beautiful week, and I will…..
See ya next time on Heartfelt Conversations with Diana!
Thirst Quenchers
Songs to Inspire You:
Phil Wickham - The King Is In The Room (Official Music Video)
Casting Crowns - Nobody (Official Music Video) ft. Matthew West
Brandon Lake, Phil Wickham - Love of God (Music Video)
Foundational Encouraging Verses:
Isaiah 42:16: God’s Word Translation
I will lead the blind on unfamiliar roads. I will lead them on unfamiliar paths. I will turn darkness into light in front of them. I will make rough places smooth. These are the things I will do for them, and I will never abandon them.
Isaiah 54:10: Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken, nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the Lord, who has compassion on you.”
Psalm 119:105: Your word is a light unto our path and a light unto our feet.
Isaiah 54:17: But in that coming day, no weapon turned against you will succeed. You will silence every voice raised up to accuse you. These benefits are enjoyed by the servants of the LORD; their vindication will come from me. I, the LORD, have spoken!
Isaiah 52:12: (EASY) But you will not have to hurry and run away. No, the Lord, Israel's God, will keep you safe. He will lead you at the front, and He will be your guard at the back.
Matthew 7:11: So if you who are evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!
1 Peter 2:23 tells us - When He was insulted, He did not answer back with an insult; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but placed His hopes in God, the righteous Judge.
Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."
1 Peter 2:12 says, “Live such good lives among the pagans that… they may see your good deeds and glorify God.”
The New Living Translation reads it this way: Be careful to live properly among your unbelieving neighbors. Then even if they accuse you of doing wrong, they will see your honorable behavior, and they will give honor to God when he judges the world.
Deuteronomy 30:19-20: "I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Now choose life."
Luke 6:37 “Forgive, and you will be forgiven”.
Matthew 6:14: If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you.
Romans 8:31 in the AMP Bible tells us: What then shall we say to all these things? If God is for us, who can be [successful] against us?
Psalm 65:11: You crown the year with a bountiful harvest; even the hard pathways overflow with abundance.
Psalm 32:8: The LORD says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.
Proverbs 15:3: The Lord sees everything, whether good or bad.
1 Peter 5:7: Cast all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you.
Additional Resources:
Steven Furtick: Triggered Taking Back Your Mind in the Age of Anxiety
Beth Jones: Getting a Grip on the Basics is a great resource to help you get the basics of how vital you are to God and how good He desires to be to you
https://www.thebasicsuniversity.com
Joyce Meyer: The Mind is a Battlefield - https://joycemeyer.org
Prayer of Salvation
Jesus has given salvation, healing, and countless benefits to all who call upon His name. These benefits can be yours if you receive Him into your heart by saying this prayer:
Heavenly Father, I come to You admitting that I am a sinner. Right now, I choose to turn away from sin, and I ask You to cleanse me of all unrighteousness. I believe that Jesus rose again from the dead so that I may be justified and made righteous through faith in Him. I call upon the name of Jesus Christ to be the Savior and Lord of my life. Jesus, I choose to follow You, and I ask that You fill me with the power of the Holy Spirit. I declare right now that I am a born-again child of God. I am free from sin and full of the righteousness of God. I am saved in Jesus’ name. Amen.
This prayer and the comment above were taken out of the book:
Secrets to Powerful Prayer - Discovering the Languages of the Heart
By Lynne Hammond and Patsy Cameneti
If you have just received Jesus as your Savior, please write Lynne Hammond Ministries at:
PO Box 29469
Minneapolis, Minnesota 55429-2946
Or, email one of the ministries listed on the Additional Resources Tab and let them know that you are a brand-new Christian and need some direction on the next steps for your new life in Christ.
Or email us here at Heartfelt Conversations with Diana, and we will forward your information to you.
Congratulations if you are a brand new Christian or if you have Returned Home! Welcome!!! Get in God’s Word and get it into you.