Looove Graffiti
In this episode, Diana invites you into a heartfelt reflection on the despair of puberty, how emotions and hormones are tricky, and how Satan uses our emotions and even trickery. He blinds us from the truth, so we are Unaware. Unaware of what? What truth? Hmmm, let’s listen and find out. Grab a warm cup of tea, find a quiet space, and tune in to today’s episode.
Diana’s Notes
Hey, Hey, Everyone!!! Welcome to another Heartfelt Conversation, and today we will be talking about LOOOOVE. I’m so glad you stopped in!
Who remembers going through puberty with all the crazy hormones and emotions and just the awkwardness of going from a kid, a child, to - what is happening to me! What is this! What are these bumps on my chest? Moooooommmm! Lol
Some of you may have just blossomed and bloomed into lovely preteen girls, or just naturally were groomed to step into the role of becoming a young man. Not me!
I hated, absolutely hated getting my first “training” bra! What was a training bra going to train? Me? I didn’t know. All I knew was it was no fun to wear and very embarrassing to have to! It felt weird, it made me feel weird!
But the worst part about transitioning from a little girl to a little tomboy girl (at least that is what the term was back in the day) was all the confusion and uncertainty it brought. It was a very uncomfortable time.
I wanted to run and play with the dogs, run barefoot, catch frogs by the creek, play with the crawfish, or explore. These bumpy things growing seemed to be dampening my days. Now there I was, spending my summer bra shopping! UGH!
But for me, the worst part of it all was how it changed my relationship with my dad. I looooved my dad!!! I wanted to marry my dad, like many little girls probably do when they have a good dad. I was mesmerized by him. He was handsome and kind, and I thought he was as fascinating as a Hollywood movie star! He had the most incredible, beautiful blue eyes. Soft and calm like the calm, tranquil waters of the Caribbean Sea. His smile was so captivating and endearing, and he had a touch of a mischievous, boyish grin. And my dad loved to tease you. That was his love language! Hahaha
He was a railroad conductor, meaning he was gone most of the time. I only saw him a couple of days a week, which is one of the reasons I was so fascinated by him. When my dad was home, he mostly slept because he was worn out from work. Oftentimes, he could be found sleeping on the sofa with the TV turned on to some game. Basketball, football, or baseball. My dad loved baseball, and I loved watching it with him. But sometimes, if he was sleeping and you wanted to change the channel as soon as you got up to do it, he would say in his deep baritone voice, “Don’t turn that!”
He could be snoring away, and you would say, “Dad, there is no way you were watching that.” He would be able to tell you what the inning was, who was up to bat, and give you a five-minute recap of the whole game! Now, how is that possible?!??? How could he do that? It was amazing. It was mostly irritating, but amazing.
But on the days he was home, he would always make time to play with me or take me out for ice cream, just the two of us.
In the summer, we would roll in the grass and pick dandelions. He would tickle me, and we would laugh and play. Until one day, when the bumps came, my dad didn’t play with me like that anymore. It just stopped.
Looking back as an adult, it is obvious to me why. I am sure my dad felt as awkward as I thought, only for him, he watched his baby girl grow from a little giggling tomboy to a young lady, which meant a few changes. One of those was rolling around and being tickled. My dad was unaware that I felt like he was pulling his love away from me. Suddenly, I felt bad because of this change, which was causing my dad to not like me as much. It hurt. I didn’t understand what was happening.
It wasn’t until my relationship with the Lord really started to develop and grow; as I sought Him for healing in my life- healing from pain, and hurt, and rejection and disappointment and trauma, and great loss - that as I grew the Lord began to slowly reveal things to me to work through, cry through, a new kind of growing and healing pains. But as I was doing the hard work of self-examination and seeking His wisdom, did God place a little hug on my heart. Because as I was working through some stuff, and seeking forgiveness from God because of some words I had exchanged with my dad,for my horrible behavior and disrespect to my parents in general,for my horrible behavior towards my dad as a teen, God so graciously showed me, gave me a glance backward and suddenly it occurred to me that my dad never stopped loving me. Yes, our relationship was changing, but change is not always bad. Sometimes change is just change.
Change also brings about growth. How many have re-potted a plant because the roots outgrew the container it was in? Change can bring growth and growth brings life.
Maybe the tickles stopped, but looking back, God reminded me dad still did stuff with me. He took me to the races in the jeep, just me and him going down the road in the summer with the top off. We still went out for ice-cream.My dad still loved me. It never stopped. My perception of love, which was very child-like, did not mature with me. I didn’t connect- that about the same time I became “bumpy” lol, was the same time dad stopped playing. I thought it was me. That he stopped loving me, so when God reminded me, it was such a relief. A weight lifted off of me, that I had not been rejected by my dad, it was just a part of this life.
But, because I had the wrong thinking about it, for many years I turned away from my dad. I stopped adoring him, and looking up to him. I thought he abandoned me. My heart. Which made me angry and bitter and resentful. Full of rebellion and attitude! Lot’s of attitude!
It would have been very helpful if my parents would have simply sat me down and explained what was happening. That would have changed a lot of me filling in the blanks with my own ideas, but in our house we did not talk about S.E. X! Or menstrual cycles, or any of the “let’s have a talk” talks.
In our house we found out the old fashion way. Natural resources. When it happened. LOL
The point being, I lost a lot of good years with my parents because of my own attitude and my emotions and my own thinking. Yes, could they have handled some things better? Sure. Wasted years that I would love to have back. But in this lifetime, I do not have that opportunity because they are both waiting for me in Paradise, then we will celebrate that their daughter finally woke up and saw the light of Jesus.
One of the most significant lessons I am learning by following Jesus is that we just have to get out of our past, our emotions, and our brokenness. Our version of truth and just learn to be real before God. To tell Him everything bothering us, hurting us, scaring us, pressuring us, to just be honest about everything we keep bottled up within us.
I am finding when I go and bare all before Him Alone, then little by little, over time, He guides me and shows me, and reveals to me exactly what I need when I need it. Like finally understanding my dad did love me. When we are fellowshipping with God and taking everything to Him in prayer and trusting that He cares enough to be a very present HELP, then life becomes so beautiful. His love towards us becomes so beautiful.
I know I have brought this up before in past episodes, but I truly believe that one of the KEY’s that keeps the open door policy comfortable between us and God is simply not hiding from Him, but to live your live nude, bear, visible before Him. And when He comes to visit you in your life, you won’t be ashamed of sin, you have hidden nothing from Him. Let’s look back at Genesis for just a minute because it is really important that you understand this principle with God.
When the cool evening breezes were blowing, the man and his wife heard the LORD God walking about in the garden. So they hid from the LORD God among the trees.
Then the LORD God called to the man, “Where are you?”
He replied, “I heard you walking in the garden, so I hid. I was afraid because I was naked.”
“Who told you that you were naked?” asked the LORD God. “Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?”…
Genesis 3:8-11
We could live our entire lives based off of the principles in this verse and live a much richer and deeper life with much less stress and a lot more ease if , if only, we could learn to live our lives unashamed of being naked before Him. But when we do mess up, because we will, it is human nature, but unlike Adam and Eve, do not hide. Do not hide from God.
He already knows so by turning towards Him and admitting it, simply positions you, humbles you before Him so that He can anoint you with the grace you need to take the next right step. He is for us, not against us. He wants to help us stay on the right track and it does it with such love and mercy.
Know His Voice! He asks Adam, Who told you? Where are we getting our advice from, who do we surround ourselves with? We become the company we keep so if you are surrounded by people who are lost, maybe they are the sweetest, nicest, most caring lost people you have ever met, but they are lost) but if you surround yourself with people of high integrity, people who are humble and gracious, people who seek God our Father in prayer knowing He hears our prayers and is faithful
Verse
Read Genesis 3:8-11 and let those words sink in. Meditate on how you can completely change your circumstances by changing your position to God. rather than hiding from Him because you are afraid of the truth of your life, Turn to Him knowing He loves you and He is the Way and The Truth and His Truth will lead you on the right path for everlasting life and every good thing you need now
Our emotions, Our version of the truth, when led by our emotions can trick us into unnecessary pain and turmoil. Down the wrong path like Adam and Eve. We can be tricked into believing lies because we allow our emotions to determine our destiny.
I was tricked by my emotions to think that my amazing, kind, loving dad just suddenly stopped loving me. I was so enthralled with my dad, he captured my heart so when things changed between us, to me that felt like a break up. Haha - But you know what I mean, to feel rejected SUCKS!
Satan tricked Adam and Eve and he tricks us to this day. Satan is not creative, he has no original thought everything he does is a copy, an imitation of God
Just as God can heal us over time, little by little as we trust Him and follow His path, Satan can do the reverse. He too can little by little, ever so slowly lead us off of God’s path, Off of knowing God’s truth and begin to get lost in the darkness of lies. He deceives us and tricks us into becoming blind to God and His way. The more we allow ourselves to be deceived the darker our path becomes making it harder and harder to see until we are frozen, hard. Without even realizing it, like taking a bite out of forbidden fruit, we fall asleep into a deep state of a seared conscience. A hard heart where life has left and death hovers waiting for it’s time to steal life forever.
We must learn to follow God’s truth so we do not get lost, confused, unable to discern right from wrong, truth for deception. God’s word is our compass to guide us safely to eternal life while living this one.
Psalm 119:105
Your word is a light unto our path and a light unto our feet.
God’s Word can illuminate the right path we should take, especially when we are at a cross-roads, we are having to make difficult decisions while “feeling” uncertain.
His Word keeps us from feeling rejected by the world and helps keep us grounded in knowing who we are.
When we “feel” (there is that E-motion word - FEEL) when we feel rejected enough and we have been hurt by life enough and have gone down the slippery slope of allowing our emotions to take over, we can be confident we are no longer on the right path and we have to break the cycle of our roller-coaster life. We need stability like Joseph and relying on God’s timing and God’s truth is what will bring stability into your life and mostly when we partner with God, we have stability in our souls and we are no longer dead. Enclosed in the tomb of a hard heart.
God’s heart is not hard toward us, He has NEVER had a hard heart for us. He loves us so much that He made the decision to give us the life of His Son as a sacrifice for sins He knew we would make BEFORE He created us. He saw everything evil mankind would do to kill His Son, and he still saw you, He saw me and He said yes, Yes, I want to create them and enjoy them and invite them to be My children. You have that choice if you haven't already.
One of the things I love most about God is that He NEVER has or Ever will reject any of us. We reject Him, He does not reject us. How could He? We are His very own creation. His Masterpiece. His Monet.Claude Monet , a French painter from the 1800s I think ( I LOOOOVE his paintings! LOL) Why would God reject His Own Monet, you! His beautiful tapestry of color and light and life.
Now, if the story of Creation, the Curse, and the Cross were a Disney movie, it might be titled something like a recent musical production some extremely talented people at Valley wrote, directed and produced for our Kidamazoo Worship Service and the title was Unfrozen: a powerful production about love, hope, and redemption.
How God’s love thaws a frozen heart. And of course, it played off the ever popular movie FROZEN with Elsa and Anna.
By the Blood of the Lamb. God’s Spotless, Blameless Son. Jesus, we have an opportunity. A real, genuine opportunity to have a happily ever after-life!
When we allow God’s love to begin to thaw our hearts, to soften and heal all our sorrows and loss and loneliness and replaces the brokenness and hardness with His love, His peace, his Gentleness, His Goodness, His Joy and Laughter, we discover that we have not been fully alive until He breathes new life into you. When you become alive. When He calls your name out of the grave and you respond and let Him in, you will NEVER want to go back to the cave of fear, rejection and hardship without Him again! Mark my words, one day you will realize just how dead your life was!
For me, life began- my heart began to crack open, soften, the light broke through and forgiveness entered in- to me because I came into the light and could see everything God forgave me for. I learned to forgive people. People who hurt me, harmed me, tried to break me, kill me. And I began to ask for forgiveness from people I hurt out of my pain and hurtful words spoken.
It didn’t happen overnight. I was in quite a pit. It was a deep, dark pit , coal-mining deep cave dark. God was so patient and loving and easy with me as He helped me climb out of a dark hole . He didn’t demand I go faster and further than I could. He was gracious and loving, making sure my footing was strong, stable, sturdy before taking the next step.
I was so lost that I didn’t even know I was lost, until I wasn’t lost any longer! Whew!
18-20 years later I wrote my dad a note ( I have to look, I should have it with me, I hope!) Pray for me that I find it!
Anyway, a few years after my dad died, I was sitting with my mom and she gave me the note I wrote to my dad years earlier. He had carried it folded and in his wallet all those years. That is how much my dad waited for me to realize that he never pulled away from me, I pulled away from him. I was foolish because of pride and emotions.
And that moment was really healing for me. My words meant so much to my dad that he carried them in his wallet. My dad did love me! I knew it! Well, I should have known!
I should have never doubted it! Sometimes, that can be my problem. I’m not sure if any of you have the same struggle, but sometimes, I get stuck in my own head and I get stuck in there and everything just seems so complicated and difficult. HARD!
It is Stinkin-Thinkin
But thank God He made a way before He ever created us and provided a way for us to be restored, foreseeing and knowing that Satan would cause a Curse to fall upon planet earth.
His Son, Jesus, would become the Sacrifice for us. His blood would redeem us, reconcile us back to the Father.
God’s love is boundless, without end and has always been:
Isaiah 54:10:“Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the Lord, who has compassion on you.”
I think my dad would have carried my note in his heart if it were possible. God carried the note of you, His song for you, His Story for you in His heart, long before He created you.
Will you let him finish your story on a high note? Will you let Him guide you and reveal every good thing He has already prepared for you?
Pastor Eric on Easter shared the most beautiful and hilarious story of a father’s love for a child. My dad was such a good dad to me, but he was human, he was unaware of his actions. That his daughter would feel unloved.
But as Pastor Eric teaches us, in the case of God, oftentimes it is us, behaving more like I did, we are unaware of God’s love for us.
You can find the link for A Love Gone Unaware on -
Heartfeltconversations.com -https://www.heartfeltconversations.com/
Or go to Valleyfamilychurch.org, the YouTube page, and you can find the message there.
I know you will love it, be encouraged, and experience God’s love for you!
We live in an imperfect world, but He loves us perfectly every time!
So, stop letting the love graffiti of the world scribble nonsense on your heart without your permission, because you’ve just fallen into a dead state, a pit—a grave.
Let God write the story of His love for you in your heart. Let him etch His plan for you to follow in your heart and give you dreams and visions and a life you never dreamed possible. Give Him permission to Looooove you! You will never feel more treasured or adored than knowing how much God loves you.
But listen to the Pastor's message!
Well, friends, we are outta time. Be kind to others, Be Kind to yourself. Stay sweet. Stay rooted in the word. And, choose life—real life’s life that He has for you!
Father, today I pray for every person listening that You would meet them right where they are. Heal the broken places. Restore the lost time. Replace fear with faith and sorrow with joy. Show them that they were never alone, not even for one moment. Thank you for Jesus, for His sacrifice, and new life.
In Jesus' Name, Amen.
Until next time, take care, and remember: God’s not done with your story yet.
The link to Pastor Eric’s message: A Love Gone Unaware is included in the notes for this week:
Pastor Eric Jones: A Love Gone Unaware
Songs to inspire you
Trust In God (feat. Chris Brown) | Official Lyric Video | Elevation Worship
Caleb & John - Somebody Like Me ft. CAIN (Official Lyric Video)
Cory Asbury ~ The Father's House (lyrics)
Foundation Verse
Romans 8:11
The Spirit of God, Who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you. And just as God raised Christ Jesus from the dead, He will give life to your mortal bodies by this same Spirit living in you. “
Additional Resources
Prayer of Salvation
Jesus has given salvation, healing, and countless benefits to all who call upon His name. These benefits can be yours if you receive Him into your heart by saying this prayer:
Heavenly Father, I come to You admitting that I am a sinner. Right now, I choose to turn away from sin, and I ask You to cleanse me of all unrighteousness. I believe that Jesus rose again from the dead so that I may be justified and made righteous through faith in Him. I call upon the name of Jesus Christ to be the Savior and Lord of my life. Jesus, I choose to follow You, and I ask that You fill me with the power of the Holy Spirit. I declare right now that I am a born again, child of God. I am free from sin and full of the righteousness of God. I am saved in Jesus’ name. Amen.
This prayer and the comment above, were taken out of the book:
Secrets to Powerful Prayer - Discovering the Languages of the Heart
By Lynne Hammond and Patsy Cameneti
If you have just received Jesus as your Savior, please write Lynne Hammond Ministries at:
PO Box 29469
Minneapolis, Minnesota 55429-2946
Or, email one of the ministries listed on the Additional Resources Tab and let them know that you are a brand new Christian and need some direction on the next steps for your new life in Christ.
Or email us here at Heartfelt Conversations with Diana and we will pass along your information for you.
Congratulations if you are a brand new Christian or if you have Returned Home! Welcome!!! Get in God’s Word and get it into you!
Diana’s Home Church:
Valley Family Church - Pastor’s Eric and Alexa Jones
www.valleyfamilychurch.org
Other recommended Jesus-centered churches who teach the True Word of God:
Elevation Church - Steven Furtick
https://elevationchurch.org/
Joseph Prince Ministries - Joseph Prince
https://www.josephprince.org/
Joyce Meyer Ministries
https://joycemeyer.org/