Night is Normal Finale - What Do We Do Now?
Heartfelt Conversations with Diana
We've talked about disappointment, disillusionment, trust, identity, forgiveness, and grace. But now comes the question: What do we do with everything we've learned?
In this final episode of The Night Is Normal, Diana invites us to consider how easily we become attached to our own perspective—and how much unnecessary stress, irritation, and misunderstanding we might avoid if we were willing to see things differently.
What if what you see is real, but it isn't all that is real?
We'll discover that spiritual maturity doesn't require having all the answers. It requires the humility to remain teachable, patience and endurance to keep following Jesus.
God doesn't shame us for the seat we're sitting in. He invites us to see what He sees.
The series may be ending, but the invitation continues.
Faith grows deepest in the places we would not have chosen.
Diana’s Notes
What Do We Do Now? - Learning to Walk Forward
The Night Is Normal Finale
Well, everyone... here we are. The last conversation in The Night Is Normal series. And after all these weeks of talking about darkness and disappointment, disillusionment, identity, trust, ourselves, other people...
I suppose I should have some spectacular conclusion. Something profound.
Something that ties everything together with a beautiful little bow and sends everybody home feeling completely enlightened.
Yeah. I don't. (Laugh.)
Actually, I think that might be one of the things I've learned: sometimes there isn't a bow. Sometimes we finish a season with questions we didn't get answered. Sometimes the situation didn't change. Sometimes the person didn't change. Sometimes we are still changing.
And sometimes morning doesn't arrive the way we thought it would.
But maybe the question at the end of this journey isn't: Did we figure everything out? Maybe the question is: How will we live now?
Because if we've spent all these weeks learning how God meets us in darkness, but it doesn't change how we walk through the darkness, the next difficult season, then what was the point?
If we've talked about grace but become irritated the minute someone doesn't see something the way we do...
If we've talked about trusting God but still assume we “think” we “know” what He should be doing...
If we've talked about disillusionment but remain absolutely convinced that our interpretation of a situation is the only possible correct interpretation...
Well… Maybe we haven't finished the lesson yet.
A LITTLE INVITATION
And before we go any further, if you're just joining us, or maybe you've missed a few conversations along the way, I want to invite you to visit heartfeltconversations.com.
You'll find our 16-week The Night Is Normal series, where we've been having some pretty honest conversations about disappointment, disillusionment, trusting God when we don't understand Him, and discovering what His grace looks like in the middle of it all.
We've wrestled with some uncomfortable questions, challenged a few assumptions, and discovered that sometimes the greatest change isn't in our circumstances—but in how we see them.
And I would love for you to take that journey with us.
THE CHAIR
Now, something that has struck me through this entire study is how easily we can see one perspective - usually ours! Hahaha - and we hitch ourselves to it. We are committed. Our mind is made up! We sit down in our chair. We look around. We decide what everything means.
And then… We bolt the chair to the floor. (Laugh.)
"This is what happened." "This is why they did that."
And before long, we're not simply seeing a perspective, one way of seeing something. We're defending it. Fighting for it. Building a case around it.
Maybe even getting a little irritated with anyone who doesn't see exactly what we see.
But what if there is another chair? What if there is another angle?
What if what you see is completely real… But it isn't all that is real?
I think that's one of the greatest gifts God has given to me personally through this journey. He doesn't shame us for the seat we're sitting in.
He is inviting us to see what He sees. And that is where I want to leave us.
Not with a conclusion that explains everything. But with a commission that changes how we live.
So, pull up your chair. Grab a cup of coffee. Listen while you work. Whatever and however you tune it - let’s get this conversation going with…
BUILDING BLOCK ONE: LOOSEN YOUR GRIP ON YOUR VIEW
1 Corinthians 13:12 (NIV) "For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face."
One of the most freeing things we can learn is also one of the hardest things to admit: I might not be seeing everything. Only a reflection.
That doesn't mean what we see isn't real. It doesn't mean the pain isn't real. It doesn't mean someone didn't hurt you. It doesn't mean the disappointment didn't happen.
And it certainly doesn't mean we slap some happy Christian explanation over something painful and call that faith. No. Sometimes what happened was awful. Sometimes it was unfair. Sometimes somebody really did fail us.
Sometimes we fail ourselves. Sometimes we prayed and prayed, and God still didn't do what we desperately wanted Him to do. The Night Is Normal hasn't taught us to deny reality.
I think it has taught us to become a little more humble about our interpretation of reality. There is a difference.
Because I can know what happened without knowing everything God is doing.
I can know what someone did without knowing everything happening inside that person. Do you know what I mean?
I can also recognize my own weakness without declaring myself worthless.
I can experience God's silence without deciding He has abandoned me.
I can be disappointed without deciding the story is over.
What I see may be real—but it may not be all that is real.
Just a little bit of humility can save us from a whole lot of unnecessary stress and irritation. We all love our own conclusions. The bible calls it pride. Pride leads to stress.
It’s true. When our pride is in control, then just give us three facts and fifteen minutes, and we'll have motives, their assumed backstory, and what their future screw-ups are gonna be. (Laugh.) And then we wonder why we are mentally exhausted all of the time.
Maybe some of our exhaustion comes from carrying conclusions God never asked us to carry. It stings a little, but that is what God has been teaching me. I have to admit, as much as it felt like torture in the beginning, it has left me walking easier in difficult times. Why? How? Because I am learning to listen, Linda! Lol, and I am learning that my opinion is slightly skewed by my past experiences, so I have to trust God’s wisdom and whataya know?? - Less stress controls my day!! And that is worth it!
WHAT IF I DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING? That’s what I am learning! lol
I’ve been thinking about the disciples. They walked with Jesus. They heard His teaching. They watched Him perform miracles. And yet there were so many times they didn't understand what He was doing.
Even when Jesus told them what was coming, they struggled to comprehend it. They had expectations. They had ideas about what victory should look like.
They had their own understanding of what the Messiah had come to accomplish.
And then came the cross.
From where they were standing, it must have looked like everything had gone terribly wrong.
But they couldn't yet see the resurrection. Think about that. Maybe all you see is the “cross” in your day. When you need to hold onto God’s faithfulness, that Resurrection Day is coming; in other words, hard times will pass, and God’s goodness will remain when we follow His way.
Now, that doesn't mean every painful circumstance in our lives is going to end with the particular outcome we're hoping for. Our perspective is not the measure of God's faithfulness.
That's worth remembering. Because throughout this series, we've talked about trusting God when we don't understand Him.
And maybe trust sometimes sounds like this: "Lord, this is how it looks from where I'm sitting. But You see what I cannot."
That's not denial. That's humility. That's faith. And there is freedom in it.
Because suddenly I don't have to solve everything. I don't have to understand everybody. I don't have to know why this happened. I don't even have to understand exactly what God is doing before I trust His character. I can loosen my grip. I can leave room for something I haven't seen yet. And maybe, instead of asking God to prove that my interpretation is correct, I can begin asking Him to show me where my understanding needs to grow.
That is a very different prayer. That is a very different way of living.
So what is the TAKEAWAY from - Loosen Your Grip On Your View -
Hold what you think you know with enough humility to allow God to change it if He needs to for your good.
BUILDING BLOCK TWO: CHANGE SEATS BEFORE YOU BUILD A CASE
There is something interesting about changing seats. Our position. The room hasn't changed. We have. Same furniture. Same people. Same circumstances… Different view.
And sometimes grace begins with being willing to move.
This takes us right back to something we talked about when we asked:
Are you listening—or just waiting to talk? Because listening requires movement. Not necessarily physically, although I suppose dragging your chair across the room could really make a point. (Laugh.) But inwardly.
Can I move toward another person long enough to ask: What might this look like from where they're sitting?
Can I listen before I assume? Can I ask before I accuse? Can I become curious before I become certain? Can I extend grace before I build a case?
And can I do the same thing with God? Before I decide: "God is withholding something from me." Could I change seats? Before I decide: "God must be disappointed in me." Could I change seats? Before I decide: "Nothing good can possibly come from this."
Could I leave room for the possibility that I don't yet see what He sees?
GRACE DOESN'T MEAN ABANDONING TRUTH
Now, let’s be very clear about something here. This doesn't mean every perspective is correct. It doesn't mean truth becomes relative. It doesn't mean boundaries disappear. It doesn't mean wisdom says, "Oh well, everybody has a point," and allows destructive behavior to continue.
Grace and discernment are not enemies.
We can listen generously and still recognize what is true. We can forgive and still use wisdom. We can understand someone better without agreeing with them.
We can change our lens without changing the facts.
And I think that is so important. Because sometimes when we talk about grace, people hear permission to overlook everything.
But grace isn't pretending that wrong is right. Grace isn't denying what happened. And grace certainly isn't an invitation to remain in a harmful situation.
We can acknowledge the truth of what happened and still ask God to keep our hearts from becoming captive to it. We can maintain a boundary without nursing bitterness. We can say, "What you did was wrong," without deciding that one action gives us perfect knowledge of another person's entire heart.
And we can be willing to learn something new without surrendering the truth we already know. That's not a weakness. That's maturity.
James 1:19 tells us to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. And I wonder how much unnecessary conflict we might avoid if we practiced that one verse before deciding what somebody meant.
Because sometimes we don't just want people to hear our perspective.
We want them to agree with it. True?? And when they don't? Well, now we're irritated. (Laugh.)
But we can save ourselves a whole lot of aggravation when we stop demanding that everybody see the room from our chair.
This is THE INVITATION of having less stress that leaning and trusting in God’s sovereignty brings, where grace becomes so powerful.
God doesn't shame us for the seat we're sitting in. And we need to learn to extend that same grace to others.
Think about that. God knows why you're sitting in the seat you are in.
He knows what happened to you. He knows what you learned in that place.
He knows what you survived. He knows the fears underneath it. The disappointments. The history. The questions.
And He doesn't stand across the room rolling His eyes, saying: "Seriously? How can you possibly see it that way?" No. He comes near. And I imagine Him saying:
"Come over here. Let Me show you something."
That is grace. Not shame. An Invitation.
And sometimes what He shows us changes everything.
Maybe that person wasn't rejecting you. Maybe they were hurting too. Maybe weakness wasn't evidence that you were failing. Maybe it became the place where you finally stopped performing and received grace. Maybe waiting wasn't punishment. Maybe victory didn't look the way you thought victory was supposed to look.
Maybe God wasn't absent from the night. Maybe your eyes simply had to adjust enough to recognize Him there.
And sometimes? We still won't understand. That's important.
God's perspective does not always mean God gives us an explanation.
There are things I still don't understand. There are losses I cannot make neat and tidy in my heart.
There are questions I will probably carry until I see Jesus face-to-face.
Changing seats doesn't guarantee answers.
It gives us something better—a different place from which to trust.
And I don't want us to rush past that.
Because sometimes the greatest transformation doesn't happen when we finally understand why something happened.
It happens when we realize we can trust the One who sees what we cannot.
We stop demanding an explanation as the price of our trust.
We stop insisting that circumstances must change before our hearts can find rest.
And we begin to understand that the faithfulness of God isn't determined by our ability to interpret the moment correctly.
He was faithful before we understood. He is faithful while we are learning.
And He will remain faithful when there are still questions we cannot answer.
— Our TAKEAWAY
Before you build a case around what you see, leave room for what you don't.
BUILDING BLOCK THREE: WALK FORWARD WITH GRIT AND GRACE
So how do we live now? After all these weeks… After everything we've talked about… What do we actually do?
I think we walk forward with grit and grace.
Grit says: I will keep walking when I don't have answers.
Grace says: I don't have to understand everything—or everyone—to keep loving.
Grit keeps us from quitting. Grace keeps us from becoming hard.
Because grit without grace can turn into toughness.
We survive. We endure. We clench our jaw. We prove we can handle it.
But our heart becomes hard along the way.
And grace without grit? We can confuse grace with passivity. We can avoid hard things. Avoid difficult conversations. Avoid boundaries. Avoid growth.
But Jesus gives us something better. Grit and grace.
Strength that stays tender. Conviction that stays teachable. Endurance that doesn't become bitterness. Grace that doesn't abandon truth.
And maybe that's what a steady life actually looks like. Not a life without darkness. Not a life without disappointment.
Not a life where everybody behaves and every prayer gets answered according to our preferred schedule.
A steady life is one that has learned where to stand when everything else feels uncertain. And that brings me to a verse that has walked with me through some of the hardest places in my own life.
Hebrews 10:36 AMP): "For you have need of steadfast patience and endurance, so that you may perform and fully accomplish the will of God, and thus receive and carry away (and enjoy to the full) what is promised.
I love the way the Amplified version brings out the need for steadfast patience and endurance.
Patience & Endurance. I used to think endurance mostly meant hanging on.
Just survive it. Don't quit. Keep going. And yes, sometimes that's exactly what it means. But I think endurance can also mean remaining teachable while you wait.
Remaining tender. Remaining willing to listen. Remaining willing to change.
Remain willing to say: "Lord, I still don't understand this. But I trust You enough to keep walking."
Maybe endurance looks like refusing to bolt your chair to the floor.
Maybe it looks like allowing God to change your perspective without requiring Him to change your circumstances first.
Maybe it looks like saying: "Show me what I cannot see from here."
That takes grit. And that takes grace. And there's something else I want to remind us of. Grace is received, not earned.
We're not trying to become better people so that God will finally be pleased with us. We're learning to live from the love and acceptance we've already been given in Jesus. Everything we are not has been covered by the blood of Jesus.
That doesn't mean we stop growing. It means we stop treating growth like an entrance exam for God's love.
We grow because we belong to Him. And as we continue walking with Him, His Word challenges our assumptions, renews our thinking, and teaches us to respond differently.
Not perfectly. One conversation. One disappointment. One difficult decision… at a time. And maybe that is what it looks like to put everything we've learned into practice. Not one grand moment of spiritual accomplishment. But a thousand small decisions to keep following Jesus.
Our — TAKEAWAY
Grit keeps us walking. Grace keeps our hearts tender. Together, they help us live faithfully when the road is uncertain.
THE COMMISSION
NOW GO LIVE IT
So as we finish this journey together, I don't want to give a tidy conclusion. I want to give us a commission.
There will be other nights. I wish I could tell you there wouldn't be. There will be other disappointments. Other unanswered questions. Other people who frustrate you. Other moments when God doesn't make sense.
There may even be another season when you wonder: "Lord... where are You?" And when that happens… Remember what you've learned here.
Don't be so certain of what you see that you become unwilling to move.
Don't immediately build a house around your first conclusion. Don't confuse God's silence with God's absence. Don't confuse weakness with failure. Don't assume someone's worst moment tells you their entire story. Don't let disappointment define the character of God. Don't allow darkness to convince you there will never be morning.
And don't shame yourself for the chair you're sitting in. God doesn't.
Instead… Loosen your grip. Listen again. Look again. Ask again. Give grace. Stay teachable. Keep walking.
And when Jesus whispers, "Come over here. Let Me show you something..." Move your chair.
Because you may not be able to change the room you're standing in.
You may not be able to change the people in it. You may not be able to change what happened. And you may never receive the explanation you wanted. But God can change the way you see.
And sometimes… That changes everything.
A CLOSING PRAYER
Father, thank You for meeting us in the places we never would have chosen.
Thank You that You have not changed, even when our circumstances have.
Thank You for Your patience with us when we misunderstand, when we assume, when we become discouraged, and when we hold too tightly to what we think we know.
Lord, give us the humility to remain teachable.
Help us recognize when our perspective is limited, when our hearts are becoming hard, and when we've allowed disappointment to shape what we believe about You.
Teach us to extend grace without abandoning truth. To listen without surrendering wisdom. To forgive without denying what happened.
And to walk forward with the patient endurance Your Word encourages us to have.
For those listening who are still in a difficult night, remind them that they are not forgotten.
Give them strength for today, peace in the middle of uncertainty, and confidence in Your unchanging character.
And when there is something You want us to see differently, Lord, give us willing hearts.
In Jesus' name, amen.
FINAL CLOSING
Friends, what an incredible journey this has been.
If you've walked through The Night Is Normal with me from the beginning, thank you. We've laughed. We've wrestled. We've asked uncomfortable questions. We've probably stepped on our own toes a few times.
I know I have! And maybe that's okay.
Because we weren't trying to become people who have all the answers.
We were learning how to become people who know where to turn when we don't.
To Jesus. Again and again and again.
The night is normal. But the night is not evidence that God has changed.
He is still faithful. Still present. Still gracious. Still working. Still inviting. And still able to see what we cannot. So let's walk from here with a little more humility. A little more compassion. A little less certainty about things God hasn't told us.
Maybe a little less irritation! (Laugh.) A whole lot more grace. And enough grit to keep following Jesus when the road gets dark again.
Remember: God doesn't shame you for the seat you're sitting in. He invites you to see what He sees.
So keep walking. Keep loving. Keep listening. Keep looking up. And when necessary… Move your chair.
I'm Diana, and this is Heartfelt Conversations with Diana.
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And on our Facebook page, you will find Daily Delights with Diana - short, easy-to-read weekday encouragements to get your day started with our LORD.
You can find a link for Valley’s Sunday service, the notes from today’s podcast, and two teachings from Valley Family Church. One from our Senior Pastor Alexa Jones: More Than A Miracle. You can find it all on our website -heartfeltconversations.com
I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. – Romans 15:13 (NLT) ❤️
God bless & I’ll see ya next time on Heartfelt Conversations with Diana!
Pastor’s message:
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Foundational Encouraging Verses:
Isaiah 42:16: God’s Word Translation: I will lead the blind on unfamiliar roads. I will lead them on unfamiliar paths. I will turn darkness into light in front of them. I will make rough places smooth. These are the things I will do for them, and I will never abandon them.
Isaiah 54:10: Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken, nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the Lord, who has compassion on you.
Psalm 119:105: Your word is a light unto our path and a light unto our feet.
Isaiah 54:17: But in that coming day, no weapon turned against you will succeed. You will silence every voice raised up to accuse you. These benefits are enjoyed by the servants of the LORD; their vindication will come from me. I, the LORD, have spoken!
Isaiah 52:12: (EASY) But you will not have to hurry and run away. No, the Lord, Israel's God, will keep you safe. He will lead you at the front, and He will be your guard at the back.
Isaiah 46:10: “I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say, ‘My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please.’”
Matthew 7:11: So if you who are evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!
1 Peter 2:23 tells us: When He was insulted, He did not answer back with an insult; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but placed His hopes in God, the righteous Judge.
Proverbs 3:5-6: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."
1 Peter 2:12 says, “Live such good lives among the pagans that… they may see your good deeds and glorify God.”
The New Living Translation reads it this way: Be careful to live properly among your unbelieving neighbors. Then even if they accuse you of doing wrong, they will see your honorable behavior, and they will give honor to God when he judges the world.
Deuteronomy 30:19-20: "I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Now choose life."
Luke 6:37: “Forgive, and you will be forgiven.”
Matthew 6:14: If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you.
Romans 8:31 in the AMP Bible tells us: What then shall we say to all these things? If God is for us, who can be [successful] against us?
Psalm 65:11: You crown the year with a bountiful harvest; even the hard pathways overflow with abundance.
Psalm 32:8: The LORD says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.
Proverbs 15:3: The Lord sees everything, whether good or bad.
1 Peter 5:7: Cast all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you.
Additional Resources:
Steven Furtick: Triggered Taking Back Your Mind in the Age of Anxiety
Beth Jones: Getting a Grip on the Basics is a great resource to help you get the basics of how vital you are to God and how good He desires to be to you
https://www.thebasicsuniversity.com
Joyce Meyer: The Mind is a Battlefield - https://joycemeyer.org
Prayer of Salvation
Jesus has given salvation, healing, and countless benefits to all who call upon His name. These benefits can be yours if you receive Him into your heart by saying this prayer:
Heavenly Father, I come to You admitting that I am a sinner. Right now, I choose to turn away from sin, and I ask You to cleanse me of all unrighteousness. I believe that Jesus rose again from the dead so that I may be justified and made righteous through faith in Him. I call upon the name of Jesus Christ to be the Savior and Lord of my life. Jesus, I choose to follow You, and I ask that You fill me with the power of the Holy Spirit. I declare right now that I am a born-again child of God. I am free from sin and full of the righteousness of God. I am saved in Jesus’ name. Amen.
This prayer and the comment above were taken out of the book:
Secrets to Powerful Prayer - Discovering the Languages of the Heart
By Lynne Hammond and Patsy Cameneti
If you have just received Jesus as your Savior, please write Lynne Hammond Ministries at:
PO Box 29469
Minneapolis, Minnesota 55429-2946
Or, email one of the ministries listed on the Additional Resources Tab and let them know that you are a brand-new Christian and need some direction on the next steps for your new life in Christ.
Or email us here at Heartfelt Conversations with Diana, and we will forward your information to you.
Congratulations if you are a brand new Christian or if you have Returned Home! Welcome!!! Get in God’s Word and get it into you.