When Failure Tells You to Hide, Run Toward Jesus
Heartfelt Conversations with Diana
The Night is Normal Study
In this episode — Grace Is Received, Not Earned, Diana continues the conversation about disillusionment with self by asking what we should do when we fail, sin, mess up, or disappoint ourselves.
Rather than turning failure into an identity, we'll learn to filter it through truth: repent when repentance is needed, learn when something was simply a mistake, and refuse to build a permanent home in guilt and shame.
Then we'll meet Peter on the shore of the Sea of Galilee.
After denying Jesus three times, Peter discovers the risen Lord standing on the shore.
Failure says hide. Shame says stay in the boat. Grace says, “That's Jesus. Go to Him.”
Grace isn't something we earn by getting ourselves together. Grace is received, not earned—because Jesus paid the price.
You don't have to earn your way back to Jesus. You don't have to punish yourself enough to make His forgiveness legitimate. It has already been paid for us.
Join me this week for Heartfelt Conversations with Diana.
Diana’s Notes
Grace is Received, Not Earned
The Night is Normal Part 12: When Failure Tells You to Hide, Run Towards Jesus
Hello everybody!!! And welcome back to Heartfelt Conversations with Diana.Thanks for joining in. During the last episode, we talked about something that I think most of us experience but don't necessarily enjoy admitting:
The disillusionment with ourselves. That moment when an old fear comes back. An insecurity resurfaces.
We respond in a way we thought we had outgrown. And last week we learned something important: Growing is not failure. We are becoming.
God has never had any illusions about us. He knows exactly where we're strong. He knows exactly where we're weak.
He knows where we've grown tremendously—and where we still have some growing to do. And none of it surprises Him.
But today I want to take that conversation one step further.
Because sometimes we're not simply talking about an area where we're growing.
Sometimes we actually fail. We make the wrong choice. We say the wrong thing. We ignore something God was nudging us about.
Maybe we act out of fear. Maybe pride gets involved. Maybe we know better and do it anyway.
Or maybe we step out believing we're doing the right thing...
and discover: Nope. That was not it! We missed it!
So what do we do then?
And today we are talking about GRACE IS RECEIVED, NOT EARNED: When Failure Tells You to Hide, Run Toward Jesus.
I think many of us have learned how to receive God's grace for everybody, except ourselves.
We can tell someone else: “Oh honey, God loves you.”
“His mercies are new every morning.” “There's no condemnation in Christ.”
“Just take it to Jesus.”
And then WE mess up, and suddenly we're conducting a full congressional investigation.
LOL!
How did this happen? What does this say about me?
Am I even hearing God? Maybe I'm not qualified. Maybe I ruined everything.
And somewhere along the way, something we did becomes something we believe we are.
So today I want to talk about the difference between failure and identity...
between conviction and shame… between pilgrimage and performance...
and ultimately about what grace teaches us to do after we've fallen.
Because here's our anchor truth today: Grace is received, not earned.
And if we can really understand that, then I think some of us might finally get out of the boat. LOL!!
We'll get to Peter in a minute. 🙂 But first… we need to talk about failure.
WHEN FAILURE BECOMES AN IDENTITY
One of the questions from this week's study that really struck me was:
Do you equate failure with sin—or with being disqualified?
Think about that. Something we attempted didn't work. A relationship failed. A business failed. A ministry idea didn't work.
We made a decision and later realized it wasn't the best one.
And instead of saying: “That failed,” we say: “I failed.” And then eventually, “I am a failure.”
Those are not the same thing.
Sometimes we carry such a broad definition of failure that we begin demanding perfection from ourselves.
And perfectionism can masquerade as maturity.
It can look very responsible. Very disciplined. Very spiritual.
But underneath it may be fear. If I don't get this right, what will people think? If I make a mistake, will I still be respected?
If I admit I don't know what I'm doing, will I look weak?
And sometimes the deeper question is: If I fail, will I still be loved?
Now we're getting somewhere because failure has suddenly become connected to rejection.
And that's where grace has something to say.
BUILDING BLOCK ONE: FILTER FAILURE THROUGH SCRIPTURE
Scripture: Romans 8:1(NLT) So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.
One thing I appreciated from Alicia's teaching was the invitation to filter failure rather than immediately condemning ourselves.
Because not every failure is sin. Sometimes failure can be a very wise teacher. So when something goes wrong, instead of immediately declaring yourself spiritually bankrupt...
Stop. Ask God. And begin with some honest questions. Did I act in disobedience? Was there something God had clearly shown me that I chose to ignore? Did I numb myself to the conviction of the Holy Spirit?
Did I know something wasn't right but continue anyway? Is there sin here that Jesus died for?
If the answer is yes… then, friend:
Repent. Not grovel. Not punish yourself for six months. Not repeatedly remind God how terrible you are.
Repent. Agree with God. Receive His forgiveness.
Learn. And move forward.
1 John 1:9 (NLT): But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.
Notice what Scripture says God is. Faithful. You confess. He forgives. That doesn't make sin insignificant. It makes the cross ALL- sufficient.
BUT WHAT IF IT WASN'T SIN?
Sometimes we need to stop calling something sin that was simply a misstep, a mistake, an accident. Maybe you tried something, and it didn't work. Maybe you thought God was leading one direction and eventually realized you made a mistake and now need to adjust. Maybe you made a decision with the information you had at the time and later learned something new.
That doesn't automatically mean you failed God. I tell younger people this all the time:
Sometimes you have to step out to find out.
I probably heard that from Joyce Meyer or somebody along the way...
LOL!
But there's truth in it. Walking with God requires movement. Sometimes you take one cautious step. Then another. And another. And you sense: Yes. Keep going. Other times you take a step and think: Ohhhh… Nope. Not this way! Maybe for somebody else. Not for me. And that's okay. God can redirect a moving vessel. We're learning His voice. We're learning discernment. We're learning ourselves. We're learning what faith looks like.
A baby learning to walk falls down. Nobody watches that baby fall and says: Well, that's it. She's clearly not a walker. LOL
No! We picked her up. Because: Falling while learning to walk is part of learning to walk.
So filter failure through the truth in what Scripture says. If it's sin: Repent and receive grace. If it's a mistake: Learn and receive grace.
Either way… notice what's waiting for you? Grace.
DON'T LET FEAR KEEP YOU FROM STEPPING OUT
Luke 22 tells us something remarkable.
Jesus knew Peter was about to fail.
He tells Peter that Satan has asked to sift him like wheat.
And then Jesus says:
Luke 22:32 (NLT): But I have pleaded in prayer for you, Simon, that your faith should not fail. So when you have repented and turned to me again, strengthen your brothers.”
Jesus knew Peter was going to stumble, and Jesus was already talking about what Peter would do afterward. Did you catch that? Peter hasn't even denied Him yet! And Jesus is already essentially saying: When you come back… I've still got something for you to do.
Peter's failure did not surprise Jesus. And Peter's failure did not cancel out his future. Someone needs to hear that.
Your failure does not automatically mean disqualification. Repentance matters. Character matters. Obedience matters.
Consequences can be real. But don't allow fear of making a mistake to keep you from ever stepping through the gate God is opening.
How will we become stronger if we are unwilling to risk getting something wrong? God doesn't need perfect vessels. He needs available ones!
BUILDING BLOCK TWO: GIVE YOURSELF GRACE TO BE GROWING
Philippians 1:6 (NLT):
And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished
We touched on this in part 11, but I want to take it somewhere deeper today.
Being human is not a sin. I think sometimes we confuse being human with being ungodly. God created us as humans. That is how He designed us. But we are born into a fallen state of the world God created because of Adam and Eve and our free will that God gave to each of us intentionally- because He did not want servants or slaves or robots or a bunch of “yes” people around Him. God wanted a family, and He wanted all of His children to have their own personhood. But because He gave us this freedom, our selfish desires rebel against His Good plan ( like any parent /child relationship. He knew we would have emotions. Lots of em!! lol
That we would get tired, misunderstand people. Need correction and guidance. We're going to discover motives in ourselves that aren't as pure as we thought they were. We're going to have moments when God says: “Come here, sweetheart. We need to work on this.” LOL
That isn't rejection. That's a relationship. And here's what I've discovered: Sometimes when something inside me gets irritated or uncomfortable, my first instinct may be to focus on whatever or whoever irritated me.
Anybody else?
Lord, would You please fix THEM? Ha Ha
And sometimes I sense Him saying: “Actually, Diana… you need to work on something.” Yikes! LOL! But I've learned a wonderful practice to ask:
“God, what is really bothering me?” “What is happening underneath this?” “Is there something in my motive I can't see?” “Is there something You want to reveal?”
That's not an invitation to obsess over ourselves. It's an invitation to be vulnerable with God and seek His Wisdom.
Because you know what? You're safe. He already knows.
GOD HAS NEVER HAD ANY ILLUSIONS ABOUT YOU
This is one of the most freeing truths from our entire Week 6 conversation. God has never had any illusions about us. Any of us!
This brings us to: PILGRIMAGE- NOT PERFORMANCE.
View faith as a pilgrimage instead of a performance. A performance says: Get it right! A pilgrimage says: Keep walking. Performance asks: “How do I look?” Pilgrimage asks: “Am I still following Jesus?”
Performance is obsessed with the audience. Pilgrimage keeps its eyes on the Guide.
Performance fears mistakes. Pilgrimage understands there may be difficult terrain.
There may be mud. There may be hills. There may be detours. There may even be moments when you trip over your own feet. But you're still walking with Jesus. Sometimes our faith journey can feel less like a peaceful stroll and more like guerrilla warfare.
Old patterns are being overthrown. Old thinking is being challenged. Fear is losing territory. Faith is gaining ground. And when an overthrow is happening… things can get messy.
That doesn't necessarily mean something is wrong. It might mean: You're gaining ground. Don't let fear steal it back.
Okay, let’s wrap up with…
BUILDING BLOCK THREE: WHEN FAILURE SAYS HIDE, RUN TOWARD JESUS
Now we come to Peter. Jesus has been crucified. Jesus has risen. And Peter has failed Him. Not quietly. Not ambiguously.
Peter denied knowing Jesus three times. Imagine carrying that. He had insisted: “Even if everyone else deserts You, I won't.” And then… he did. The rooster crowed. And Peter knew. Scripture tells us he went away weeping bitterly. Can you imagine the shame? The regret?
I said I loved Him. I told Him I'd stay. He warned me. And I still did it.
Maybe you've had your own version of that. You knew better. You meant better. You promised yourself you'd never do it again. And then you did. So now we get to John 21.
Peter and several disciples are fishing. A man appears on the shore. At first, they don't recognize Him. Then John realizes: It's Jesus! And I love what happens next.
John 21:7(NLT): When Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on his tunic... jumped into the water, and headed to shore.
Peter jumped! He didn't hide in the boat. He didn't say: “Oh no. It’s Jesus. Turn the boat around, go the other way!!” LOL
He went toward Him. Think about that. Peter had failed Jesus, and somehow Peter knew Jesus was still safe to run toward.
That's grace!
Failure says hide! Shame says stay in the boat. Clean yourself up first. Get yourself together. Prove you're sorry. Do better for six months. Then maybe you can try again.
Grace says: That's Jesus. Go to Him.
And I wonder if sometimes we're afraid that if we really tell God everything… this might finally be the thing that does Him in!
😂 Yay right!
Before you confess it… He knows. Before you understand it… He knows. Before you admit the motive… He knows. Before you recognize the failure… He knows. And He is still standing on the shore.
That’s Grace!
GRACE OVERCOMES SHAME
Shame's deepest fear is rejection. Not simply: “I did something bad.” But: “If you really knew me, you wouldn't want me.”
That's why grace is so powerful. Grace says: God knows. And He still says: Come to Me. Come closer
Not because our behavior doesn't matter. Not because sin doesn't matter. Sin mattered enough for Jesus to die. Grace doesn't pretend the debt wasn't real. Grace says: The debt has already been paid! BAM!
That's why: Grace is received, not earned.
You cannot purchase something Jesus already purchased for you. You cannot out-pay the cross. You cannot improve upon His sacrifice. You cannot punish yourself enough to make forgiveness more legitimate.
You receive it.
WHAT HAPPENED ON THE SHORE?
And do you know what I love about John 21? Jesus doesn't greet Peter with a lecture. There's a charcoal fire. There's bread. There's fish. Breakfast. Jesus feeds him. And later Jesus does address Peter's heart. Three times He asks Peter: “Do you love Me?” And three times He commissions him:
Feed My lambs. Take care of My sheep. Feed My sheep.
The failure that Peter probably thought had ended everything wasn't the end. Jesus restored him. And then essentially said:
Follow Me. Peter didn't earn his way back. Grace met him on the shore.
YOUR FAILURE IS NOT YOUR FINAL CHAPTER
Maybe that's what somebody needs today.
You have been sitting in the boat because you're embarrassed. Ashamed. Disappointed in yourself. Maybe you've decided, God can't use me now. Maybe people can't trust me. Maybe I missed my chance.
Maybe I should just sit quietly and let everyone else follow Jesus. But what if Jesus is standing on the shore? Not ignoring what happened. Not pretending it didn't matter. But inviting you to bring it to Him so it doesn't get to own the rest of your story. There may be something to repent of. Repent.
There may be something to repair. Repair it. There may be consequences to walk through. Walk through them with integrity. There may simply be something to learn. Learn it.
But don't confuse repentance with lifelong self-punishment. Jesus already paid.
Father, thank You for Your grace. Thank You that we don't have to earn what Jesus has already purchased for us.
Thank You that You have never had any illusions about who we are.
You know our strengths. You know our weaknesses. You know our victories. You know our failures. And still You invite us to come near.
Father, help us discern our failures honestly. Where we have sinned, give us humble hearts that repent quickly.
Where we have simply made mistakes, give us wisdom to learn.
Where shame has tried to turn something we did into something we believe we are, remind us who we are in Christ.
Teach us to give ourselves grace to be growing.
Help us see our faith as a pilgrimage with You rather than a performance for others.
And Father, when we stumble… when we disappoint ourselves… when shame tells us to hide, help us remember Peter.
Help us hear those words:
“It is the Lord.”
And give us the courage to jump out of the boat and run toward Jesus.
Thank You that Jesus is safe.Thank You that He restores. Thank You that He forgives. Thank You that He still says: Follow Me.
And thank You that grace's pardon cannot be purchased by us because it has already been paid for us. Everything we are not has been covered by Jesus.
We receive Your grace today. In Jesus' name, Amen.
Friends, maybe you've spent enough time sitting in that boat.
Jesus already knows. So go to Him. And when you get there, you might just discover He has breakfast waiting. I love that about Jesus.
Grace is received, not earned. Growing is not failure. We are becoming.
And God has never had any illusions about you.
Until next time, remember: Faith grows deepest in the places we would not have chosen. And everything we are not has been covered by Jesus.
Grace and peace, everybody. Remember:
Faith grows deepest in the places we would not have chosen.
And Everything we are not...has been covered by Jesus.
God's invitation has always been, "Come closer." Keep moving toward Jesus. One ordinary step… One ordinary day… At a time.
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You can join us online for Sunday service at Valley Family Church! If you are nearby, please join us for the 9 AM or the 11:15 services.
You can find the link for Valley’s Sunday service, the notes from today’s podcast, and the latest teaching by our Senior Pastor Eric Jones: “Do Not Lean On Your Own Understanding “
This was in last week’s notes as well. Next week, Pastor Beth’s message, and it is REALLY good, will be on the notes!
You can find all of it on our website - heartfeltconversations.com.
I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. – Romans 15:13 (NLT).
God bless & I’ll see ya next time on Heartfelt Conversations with Diana!
Pastor Eric’s message:
Valley Family Church YouTube Channel for Sunday Service:
https://www.youtube.com/@ValleyFamilyChurch/streams
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Diana’s Playlist:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLkeS6qzdekMr55A_b1cG_Yv2fy_BvQ27D
Thirst Quenchers
Songs to Inspire You
Hillsong - Till I See You - With Subtitles/Lyrics
Foundational Encouraging Verses:
Isaiah 42:16: God’s Word Translation: I will lead the blind on unfamiliar roads. I will lead them on unfamiliar paths. I will turn darkness into light in front of them. I will make rough places smooth. These are the things I will do for them, and I will never abandon them.
Isaiah 54:10: Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken, nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the Lord, who has compassion on you.
Psalm 119:105: Your word is a light unto our path and a light unto our feet.
Isaiah 54:17: But in that coming day, no weapon turned against you will succeed. You will silence every voice raised up to accuse you. These benefits are enjoyed by the servants of the LORD; their vindication will come from me. I, the LORD, have spoken!
Isaiah 52:12: (EASY) But you will not have to hurry and run away. No, the Lord, Israel's God, will keep you safe. He will lead you at the front, and He will be your guard at the back.
Isaiah 46:10: “I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say, ‘My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please.’”
Matthew 7:11: So if you who are evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!
1 Peter 2:23 tells us: When He was insulted, He did not answer back with an insult; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but placed His hopes in God, the righteous Judge.
Proverbs 3:5-6: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."
1 Peter 2:12 says, “Live such good lives among the pagans that… they may see your good deeds and glorify God.”
The New Living Translation reads it this way: Be careful to live properly among your unbelieving neighbors. Then even if they accuse you of doing wrong, they will see your honorable behavior, and they will give honor to God when he judges the world.
Deuteronomy 30:19-20: "I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Now choose life."
Luke 6:37: “Forgive, and you will be forgiven.”
Matthew 6:14: If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you.
Romans 8:31 in the AMP Bible tells us: What then shall we say to all these things? If God is for us, who can be [successful] against us?
Psalm 65:11: You crown the year with a bountiful harvest; even the hard pathways overflow with abundance.
Psalm 32:8: The LORD says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.
Proverbs 15:3: The Lord sees everything, whether good or bad.
1 Peter 5:7: Cast all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you.
Additional Resources:
Steven Furtick: Triggered Taking Back Your Mind in the Age of Anxiety
Beth Jones: Getting a Grip on the Basics is a great resource to help you get the basics of how vital you are to God and how good He desires to be to you
https://www.thebasicsuniversity.com
Joyce Meyer: The Mind is a Battlefield - https://joycemeyer.org
Prayer of Salvation
Jesus has given salvation, healing, and countless benefits to all who call upon His name. These benefits can be yours if you receive Him into your heart by saying this prayer:
Heavenly Father, I come to You admitting that I am a sinner. Right now, I choose to turn away from sin, and I ask You to cleanse me of all unrighteousness. I believe that Jesus rose again from the dead so that I may be justified and made righteous through faith in Him. I call upon the name of Jesus Christ to be the Savior and Lord of my life. Jesus, I choose to follow You, and I ask that You fill me with the power of the Holy Spirit. I declare right now that I am a born-again child of God. I am free from sin and full of the righteousness of God. I am saved in Jesus’ name. Amen.
This prayer and the comment above were taken out of the book:
Secrets to Powerful Prayer - Discovering the Languages of the Heart
By Lynne Hammond and Patsy Cameneti
If you have just received Jesus as your Savior, please write Lynne Hammond Ministries at:
PO Box 29469
Minneapolis, Minnesota 55429-2946
Or, email one of the ministries listed on the Additional Resources Tab and let them know that you are a brand-new Christian and need some direction on the next steps for your new life in Christ.
Or email us here at Heartfelt Conversations with Diana, and we will forward your information to you.
Congratulations if you are a brand new Christian or if you have Returned Home! Welcome!!! Get in God’s Word and get it into you.